Hey...it's random thoughts...and stuff... Wednesday Dec. 29th, 2004 Hey guys. I'm finally updating this shiiiieett. Another year has gone by, bla bla. If you'd like to read my xanga, the link is http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=xscabbedwingsx . Enjoy!

Sunday January 18th, 2004

Hey. I'm using LiveJournal as my journal. If you would like the link to my LiveJournal, just email me or sign the guestbook and ask for it. Yea bitches. Hope everyone has a good 2004. Keep truckin'.

Friday September 19th, 2003

Hey everyone. I know I usually use tha Empire blog to post journal type dealies, but I felt like writing something in this journal. I seldom use it, but I suppose it will be used once in awhile. So I will go through the past month or so.

I just got over an upper respiratory infection. It lasted me about a month. I took alot of medication. I probably have asthma, too. School started September 2nd. Classwise, school is ok. I get to be Ms. Burstein's aid 4th period. That's pretty cool. Then there's my AP Photography class at Gallery 37. I really like that class. I like EVERYONE in my class. They're all nice, the two teachers are nice too. I met many cool people already. I got my homie Selena and she cracks me up. Arturo is really cool. There's Estaban's ass. Hehe. So there's cool people. It's away from school, which is good.

 Last week I was so happy. Genuinely happy. But this week was a different story. People's shit is bringing me down. I really hate it. It's my senior year. I want it to be fun, easy, and memorable. I don't want to look back and say, " I remember senior year, this person did this to me and I hated everyone". That sounds crummy. But I'm trying not to let it get me down.

I have Kastle, Melissa, and Edi. They're good people. We always hang together and have our Gallery moments. Then I got my NWside chicas...Yanina, Jenny, Inette, Tinka, and Marta. And David. He's not a chica though. He's an hombre. Haha. Espanol. Oh yeah and here's a shout out to Moe. Yea we was 'posed to go to the movies tonight!! But it's coo' you got me next time!  Oh yeah, speaking of movies, thank you Pussmaster Arkaduisz for the free movie! I wasn't expecting that. I need to watch it tomorrow night.  And last but not least, Scott smells! ;)! Ha!

Right now, I'm listening to Riddlebox. Haha, goodtimes. I'm going to see Marilyn Manson October 17th! Yey! So happy about that. I feel better right now. And then KMFDM October 27th. Yesss, October is going to be good. Oh and I heard about a Macabre show. Mwahahhaaha. Calico System is playing Sunday at some whack ass venue in West Chicago. I really want to go. But that would require time and a car. Man if I had a car, I'd be there. If I go to Wash U in St. Louis, I'm gonna hunt Mark from CS down and marry him!!!! Aww I'm a dork. Well I think that's all for now. Maybe I'll update this journal more :). I feel better now. Tootles!

 July 28th, 2003

Howdy! I haven't updated in awhile. Remember, if you would like to check what's new with me, visit http://thaempire.blogspot.com. I post almost everyday. I've been bumming around. I still have yet to find a job. If you have a job for me, email me! I am in the process of changing the appearance of this site. Unfortunately, when I try to change the colors of the background and text, my internet freezes. And now my someone downstairs is blasting their lovely music. Mmm.. Das Ich goes up now. Mwahahaha.

Hey everyone. I know I don't update this journal often, but as I noted before, I post on the Empire blog. Almost daily. So anytime you wanna know what I'm thinking go to tha Empire blog. It's almost 2. I'm bored, and I think I'll call it a nite. Tootles! There might be more new stuff in a few days!

Wednesday June 25th, 2003

       Yo....I'm on summer vacation now. I'm also currently unemployed. So I'll be bummin' around the house. So, if you'd like to send me money out of the goodness of your heart, please email me at marilyns_spookykid2001@yahoo.com and let me know. I work hard for the money damnit, so hard....

     In other news, I haven't done much in the past few days. I went bike riding with Phil, that was entertaining. He keeps callin' me emo. I'm not emo!!! I don't even listen to emo. Damn you Phil, damn you! Hot damn, I can't believe it's 4:30 already. I rolled out of bed two hours ago. I think I gotta clean today, hell yeah, I'm starting off my summer vacation with a bang....I post more journal entries on our blog (http://thaempire.blogspot.com) which is updated daily. So if I don't write on my journal for awhile, just check that. Oh yeah, go read my Full Metal Humboldt Park experience. I posted that Monday I think. Alright, I'll check ya later!

Tootles!

Sunday June 15th, 2003

      Hey! I haven't updated this in 2 weeks. I don't have too much to say right now. But I imagine that I will have time later this week to do a decent update!

Sunday June 1st, 2003

      Hey everyone! I've been updating this more often. I guess that's a good thing, if people even read this. Just to let you know, Melissa and I have designed a new web log, called the innermost thoughts of tha empire. Unlike this website, the weblog should be updated several times daily. The view and opinions are shared by myself, Melissa, Kastle, Kitty, and Lana. For right now, those are the people on our team, but we may add more people at anytime.

       In other news, this week was long. We went to Chinatown on Friday, after school. I ate many good Chinese sweets, and drank bubble tea. It was fun, but I wish we would've stayed longer. I think we're going back to Chinatown on Thursday. I hope that I get to see Dead To Fall on Friday night at the Fireside Bowl. I think I'm going to go w/ some peeps from school to celebrate at Pequod's. Then go to the show, if I don't go to the show, I'll prolly go to the school chorus concert. Yeah, that'll be spectacular.

      Speaking of shows, I forgot to tell ya'll about Atreyu. I saw them Monday May 12th (yeah I'm a bit late). Oooh man I love Alex (singer). I pinched his ass and he smiled at me. They were so good. I wish their set would've been longer. Next time they come, I am definately going to see them. They're in Europe now :(. So far away. Shit, I just remembered, I have to do laundry today. Well that's all for now. *What do you know, Deustchland?*

Monday May 26th, 2003  *FUCK EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE*

    Well ok, maybe not everyone. Just everyone that's hurt me. And maybe not everything. Just everything that brings me down.

    In other news, there was no school today. That was good. This weekend I actually did stuff! Amazing, ain't it. I went to Melissa's house and we hung out w/ Kastle, Roberto, and Marcus. [bomp chicha bomp bomp] And yesterday me and Melissa went bowling. That was the saddest game of bowling ever. Next time I'm getting a bumper on my lane. Shit, I can't wait to go to college. I'm already working on things for my portfolio so I can start sending stuff out by February. Wooo...New York here I come.....hopefully...

Wednesday May 21st, 2003

   Hey everyone. Today is my mom's bday. I got her sandals...but they were too big. I hope she likes them. Anways, this week, well half of a week, has been so busy. I've been getting home late from school. Blah I jsut wanan go home and take a nap! Today was ok. I figured out what I'm going to do for my final art project. I'm going to design a line of clothes that ties Scottish fashion together with American fashion. Should be interesting. I hope this weekend is good. I think I'm haning out w/ Mesha and her new b/f (Ron). He's great, he ripped a Manson poster off the wall for me. He better take good care of my Meesh...I was supposed to marry her ya know...but then Kastle stole her, and trreated her so poorly....but now she's moving on up... They're so cute together. Awww .....

Sunday May 18, 2003

*I am at my lowest of lows*

      Hey everyone. Well the last week of school was very busy and crammed in. There's about a month left. I hope I can make it. This year hasn't been too good, but it is definately better than sophomore year. As for college, I've been thinking alot about going away, to New York. At first I thought of just staying here, I didn't think I could make it on my own. Then I realized, I have been making it on my own. I do so much stuff by myself. So I says to myself, I says,  "Fuck it, I already am alone, I might as well leave, it will make no difference." It's not a definate thing though, I will see how the next 5 months unfold.

       Things pretty much suck right now. I feel like I'm stuck and being asphyxiated by the unconcern of those around me. I'm a burden, a bother, just not worth it. I expect nothing ofanyone or anything. It's all up to me now. This how I've been feeling for quite awhile. Sometimes, I just want to die. I wish I could get better, but these feelings don't go away overnight.

        Speaking of overnight, even my dreams are miserable. In the last few months, all of my dreams have been about being chased, to be raped and brutally murdered. Fortunately, I always wake up before it takes place. I'm always running away.

      In other news, I will be looking for jobs this week. I would like a decent one that paid more than minimum wage. I will also be working on a photo project this week. Well thats all for now. Bye

Thursday May 8th, 2003

   Well, it is chilly outside. But not as chilly as my insides. Wow, that was lame. I can't believe I said that. Seriously, I was lying in bed yesterday morning ( I didn't go to school) and I thought about how lonely I am. I never really thought about it before. I do so much stuff alone, infact I'm alone most of the time. I feel like no one is there for me. Lately, I've just been thinking to myself, about everything. Like my head is my only friend. But you can't really give yourself advice. I just feel like I'm stuck in a dark place, and I can't escape. Maybe it's just me, maybe it's all my fault. I don't know anymore. All I know is it hurts when I have to keep all my feelings to myself. It hurts when I feel that all I am is a burden. It hurts when I feel that I can't expect anything of anyone. Maybe I'm going crazy. Well that's all I have to say for now. I'm sorry if it sounds like I'm having a pity party, I couldn't help it.

     In other news, there should be more updates soon. Jenny's scanner is broke, so thats why there really isn't any new pictures.  

Saturday April 26th, 2003

      Hey. Well it's my birthday today, and it SUCKS...I was planning on going to see Dead To Fall at the Fireside Bowl. But noooo cuz I have no one to go with. Normally I would go alone, but I've never been there before, and I really don't wanna take the bus alone on the way back. And of course all of my friends are busy. So, once again, I am spending another birthday alone in my room, crying. Isn't life so fucking great?! Please don't answer that, it was a rhetorical question. Man I really hate myself...and if your're reading this and you hate me, I probably hate myself more than you do. I knew I should of never gotten out of bed. But no, I'm so fucking stupid, I should have went to my Science class, even tho it was an 8 hr field trip day. I think getting up at 5 and leavning by 7 and spending the whole day outside volunteering by some cold lake in the middle of Illinois would prolly be better than sitting here feeling like shit. I will keep that in mind for next year. Thanks...

  Thursday April 17th, 2003

       Hi kids! I'm on Spring Break now! Well actually, it's almost over. I'll just recap what I've done.

Thursday 10th- Stayed after school til about 6, worked on art prints, then I played Word Mojo w/ Mr. Miller! Then Kastle and I went to drop off some books, and then we went to Marshall Fields....but her sister wasn't there.

Friday- Went to Melissa's house...then we saw a movie at Norridge...I recommend Anger Management...its hilarious!

Saturday- Saw AFI at the Riv w/ Jenny.Davey is sexy! Then I slept over her house. We watched some Harry Potter and then dined on a couple of bad mozarella sticks and danish butter cookies...I also spent my last handful of dimes, nickels, and pennies on a big gulp...oy!

Sunday- Tina dropped me off, then came back. I helped her w/ her homework. Then we went to Dog Stop and then to her house. I saw Yanina and Inette too. I miss them chicks!

Monday- I went to the mall w/ Melissa, Kastle, and Beka. Rolling Stones offered me a job...Fridays or Saturdays from 6pm - 12am. I don't think I'll take it...Then we went to Melissa's again. Oh yea, we met up w/ Paco, Cello, and Marcus. They're amusing.

Tuesday- Went to the Woodfield Mall with Kastle and her familia. We ate at Rainforest Cafe! This day was full of amusement...

Wednesday and Today- I just chilled at home becuase I'm sick!!!!! :( Anyways I should be better tomorrow!

    Well tomorrow I plan on seeing Crash Poet again, which should kick ass. Other than all of the above described, things have been kinda crappy. Which I won't go into....this site is supposed to be entertaining! Alright, that's all for now!

Sunday March 16th, 2003

   Hey everyone. I realized that in every entry, I mention not writing in a long time. Yeah I know I should update this more, but its me. I haven't been up to much lately. School has been so-so. Everyone seems to be doing fine. Tina slept over last nite, but there no were sweaty pillow fights (sorry Martin and David!). I also watched Don't be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood. Very entertaining. I'm going to see AFI April 12th. Hopefully that will be good. Or I'll kick Jenny's ass... Just thought I would mention that. I wish I had a big van, like Tina's. It can fit so many people in to it! Oh yeah I saw Crash Poet a couple weeks ago, it was exxxcellent. If anyone out there hasn't heard of them, I encourage you to visit their site www.crashpoet.com it will make you feel all warm and fuzzy! Maybe... Well I'm tired, so I don't know how much I'll update tonight. I got my pics, but I need someone to scan them for me. So maybe sometime soon I'll have pics, but I've been saying that for months. Well tootle-loo!

  Friday Jan. 31st 2003

    Hi everyone. Yes, I realize I am a bastard, I still haven't gotten any new pics. Ok, I sware I will have new pics on this page by the end of February! O.k. now that one's outta the way. Why can't I be a cold and heartless bitch?! I really should be one, but I just can't be. I must be goofy, hardworking, and naive little girl that I am. Sometimes I want to give up, and say, "Hey everyone, I'm a bitch! So to hell with everyone!", but I just don't have the heart to do so. And I end up getting hurt. Alright, I hope I don't sound like I'm whining, this website is supposed to be amusing. Nothing much has been new. This past week at school has been finals, so it sucked. Hey I never told ya'll about the American Head Charge show I went to a few days after Xmas. It was so awesome. I love Martin Cock, he's so beautiful. Hehe I'm a sucker for guys w/ long black hair. And I got his germs from the water bottle he tossed me. Hah, I prolly sound like a teenie-bopper, but I really love AHC!

      Oh yeah I will be making products for ethnic groups. I hope to create a new section on this site, which would consist of sketches of the products that have been scanned onto my computer. But I don't have a scanner, so I would need someone else to do it for me. A sneak preview: Mexispex, Cuba Tuba, White Lite, Jew Screws, Puerto Portos, and even more! Well good day for now!

Sunday Dec. 15th 2002

     Hi bastards! How's it hanging? It's almost time for XXXmas. I haven't sitten on Santa's lap yet! But I did sit on Melissa's lap on the bus and I told her what i wanted. Even tho she's not old, fat, or white, or a man! Oh well! I'm still not done shopping for people. This week is gonna be pretty busy. Blah I still have a bunch of homework to do. Yarrgh! Thar she blows! O.k. I'm done rambling. P.S. I will update again during winter vacation, even the higly anticipated pics section! Woo woo!

Saturday Nov. 16th, 2002

     Hey guys. Much stuff has been going on, especially since I don't update this site much. I need more people to harass, send me screen names! I actually got good grades this year, whoa! Halloween was pretty cool, but very cold. I saw the Ring last week, it was a good movie. SO I've been pretty busy. I'm also working Wed. and Fri., yep I'm working hard for tha money. So keep enjoying the site. I know I said I'd have Homecoming pics up, but I still haven't gotten my film developed! SOrry, look forward to see those pics before XXXmas!

Tuesday Oct. 1st, 2002

    So, you may notice I haven't updated this in a month. I know I try to make it every 2 weeks, but yeah.... ANyways I'm updating it now so quit bitching! School's been mediocre the past 2 weeks. Which beats depressing. Random bag searches are not random hne it happens everyday. SO far, I've been staying outta trouble. Homecoming is next weekend. I plan on taking pictures, and scanning them. All you kiddies should be seeing some new pics by the end of October! Well, I must update more. And if you have anyone you'd like me to harass via AIM or yahoo instant messenger..........pleeeeeaaaseee give me their screen name!

Sunday September 8th, 2002

      Hey hey! The first week of school was mediocre. I do have alot of crappy people in my classes. But I do have a few cool people. SO, next week we're having a special schedule for the Sept. 11th thing. It's just a week of 8 period days, instead of the 2 block days. Now what the hell is so special about this? WHat the hell does it have to do with what happened last year?! If anyone knows please tell me. Ooh a week full of 8 period days, la di da! Oh and you know what that means? More friggin' homework. Thank you very much, and goodnite!

Friday August 30th, 2002

     Hello there chillins. I just moved into a new house. Megan in a house you say? Yes, I am moving on up! Thank you very much. Unfortunately, school starts on Tuesday. To the hell hole I must return. I have some craptacular classes, and I'm sure I'll be stuck w. people I strongly dislike. Why, class programmer, why?! O.k. well I'm gonna go answer some more FAQz from my guestbook.

 Sunday August 18th, 2002

        Hey kiddies. Things have been going alright. I'm moving into a house in a week. I get to paint my room red. Oh yeah. Recently, I've been just hanging around w/ the posse. I saw Dope a couple weeks ago and as usual they kicked ass. And we got to met them. I told Edsel, "Me love you long time." He looked at me like I was crazy...... I also saw No One, and they also kicked ass. Lots of kick-assery. Anyways, if anyone noticed I deleted all my other entries. I figured people are lazy and won't read them all anyways. So yes, that's all for now.......